Sunday, 12 February 2012

The Problem With Depression...

...or one of them anyway, is that you have a tendency to not do stuff.  That'll wait til later... I can't be bothered... I'll fail, anyway... It's procrastination gone mad.  And I use the word advisedly.  I suffer from procrastination; I think we all do.  When I'm depressed, though, everything becomes pointless, so nothing gets done. 

The upside of Robin being out of work, though, is that it provides an imperative.  I'm not buying convenience foods or anything that's expensive, for that matter, so if I don't cook, we don't eat.  And whilst I do have a repertoire of 'instant' meals, you get sick of the same thing over and over.  So I got a grip, cleaned the kitchen and made cake.  What else would you expect me to do?  Oh, I also made soup, and slow cooked a chicken until it melts in the mouth...but it's really the cake that does it.  In particular, I made a lovely carrot cake (the banana bread was okay, you understand, but not a patch on the carrot cake).  It's nearly all gone, of course...visitors and the two of us have put paid to all of it barring two slices, which are earmarked for tonight's tea.

Somehow, getting one thing moving in one part of your life, helps you to get other bits moving, particularly if you give it a bit of a gentle shove.  Yesterday was not a good day, but I made myself start clearing out the conservatory, which has been suffering from 'do it in another lifetime' syndrome.  Since I want to move Big Bertha out of the studio and into said conservatory, I need to make space for her.  More about that on the other blog; Bertha, if you didn't know, is my large scale Epson printer.  It felt like rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic, but I managed a little bit of it.  Today, I've got stuck in and have got half the room rearranged, with a perfect space for Bertha created.  I've moved my fabric around (the conservatory houses my fabric for dyeing), folding it up and making more space.  Things are slowly looking up.

And, of course, as I'm doing this, I'm seeing interesting things and thinking interesting thoughts.  As the depression fog lifts, my mind turns to what I need to do to get active and make some money.  I've been talking about getting stuff onto etsy for months...maybe now it's time to do it.    All of these things combined, make me feel better still.  As they say, a thousand mile journey begins with the first step.  No matter how wrong it might feel, the more I do, the better I feel.  I prophesy a return to regular blogging...  

1 comment:

Jill said...

Good on you - lifting oneself out of depression is difficult to say the least - so it is brilliant that you have achieved so much :)